Sunday, January 30, 2011
In habit 5 he talks about people needing to listen empathetically. Most people will either ignore what people say, they pretend to listen, they listen selectively, and others will listen attentively, but most cannot say they listen empathetically. People always listen with intent to respond with something they know. He suggests that in order to truly listen to someone, you need to seek to understand what they're saying and look at the words they're saying, the body language, and the tone they use while saying it. There are numerous times where I really want to listen to people and really have good intentions about listening, but am always thinking I need to say something too, when it could be the exact opposite. Having someone there to empathize with you and feel what you feel, understand what you mean, and just all around know you could be the only thing people need in life.
He talks in habit 3 about there being quadrants of things people do and how people categorize them. Q1 is urgent matters that are important, Q2 is not urgent matters that are important, Q3 is urgent matters that aren't important, and 4 is not urgent matters that aren't important. He then goes on to say that sometimes to get to Q2, you have to take time from Q3 and Q4 and politely say no. I have a hard time saying no, so that really spoke to me.
He talks of 3 determinisms: Genetic, Psychic, and Environmental; that goes along with the stimulus -> response effect, but according to the determinisms, we have no control on how we are conditioned to respond to the stimuli.